“Understanding our Laddies” or “Ode to Patience”

 (by Fabby Bell)

Us Lassies learn from an early age

How men like to sup liquor

And fart, and belch and watch TV

And tug at a lacy knicker

We spend a crazy amount of time

Sat in front of the mirror

A tweezer to pluck an unruly hair

Another cut with a scissor

Our lashes bend with black mascara

Our lips are plumped with gloss

Our cheeks are rubbed and rouged and red

We’ll let them know they’re boss

We squeeze our flesh into structured bras

And buy the latest fashions

We wear tiny thongs on our chastened cheeks

To try to secure his passions

Evening classes to define our taste

And make us seem refined

The difference between Shiraz and Claret

When we are wined and dined

All this we do because we love

Our laddies, handsome and strong

We often do appreciate their traits

And to them we will always belong

 

So, lassies of the room, I invite you to stand and raise your glasses to those gentlemen in the room without whom we would ne’er be broken hearted, but without whom we would also never love or be loved so kindly. To the laddies!